Husband, Wife and Donkey

'Once there was husband and wife who had just bought a new mule. They were walking it down the street when the mule trips over a stone. The husband says, "That's one!"
They walk some more, when the mule trips over a stone again and the husband says, "That's two!" Then the mule trips over a stone again. The husband says, "That's three," and shoots the donkey! The wife gets so mad and start's cursing at the husband and saying, "That was are only donkey! You were an idiot to shoot it!" The husband says to his wife, that's ONE!"

Sucked In

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Goose and Lady in Bar

A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''