Horse and Chicken

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety. The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

Unfaithful Mates

Otis, Henry, and Tom were sitting in a bar discussing their wives. Henry started by saying, "I think my wife is fooling around on me. I went home the other day and found a hammer and a saw under our bed. I think she is cheatin' on me with a carpenter!"
Tom answered, "Ya, I think my wife is not faithful either. The other day I went home and found a pipe wrench and some pipes under my bed. I think she is cheatin' on me with a plumber!"
Otis then joins in and says, "Well, if you think that's bad, I've got one for ya. I went home yesterday and found a cowboy under my bed. I think my Lina is cheatin' on me with a horse!"

Losing Another Horse

A man is attending a function in another village, riding a horse. As he is about to go, he notices that his horse is missing. He shouts, asking for his horse, but nobody seems to know where it is. "If I don't find my horse, I will do exactly what I did when I lost my first horse!" Suddenly, the horse appears. Out of curiosity, a man goes up to him and asks, "What did you do when you lost your first horse?" He replies, "I walked."