Refusal to Speak

A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"

Browsing

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

Jewish Dog to Israel

A Jewish woman wants to take her dog to Israel, so she goes to the travel agent to find out how. He says, "It's easy. You go to the airline, they give you a kennel, you put your dog in it, when you get off at Tel Aviv go to the luggage rack, and there's your dog. So she does, gets off at Tel Aviv, goes to the luggage rack, no dog. She goes to the lost and found, says, "Where's my dog?" They look all over the airport for it, and find the dog in another terminal. Only the dog is dead. "Oh, my Gosh, they say, we killed this woman's dog. What are we going to do?" Then one says, "Wait a minute, it's a Cocker-Spaniel. They're common dogs. There's a pet shop across the street from the airport. We'll get the same size, shape, color, sex. She'll never know the difference." They bring the woman the other dog and she says, "That's not my dog." Laughingly and making light of it they say, "What do you mean that's not your dog?" And she says, "My dog's dead. I was taking it to Israel to bury it."