Road Puppies

Q: What happened to the dog that gave birth to puppies near the side of the road?
A: The police cited her for littering.

Jesus the Rottweiler

A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business. "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!" "So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!" To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"

Woman and Dog Poop

Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.