Jumping Blind

Q: Why don't blind people like to skydive?
A: It scares the shit out of the dog!

Rottweiler Goes To The Vet

A man's big Rottweiler has been losing its vision, so the owner brings the dog to the vet. The veterinarian picks the dog up and says, "I will have to put him down." The owner asks, "Why? Because he's blind?" The vet replied, "No, he's heavy. I need to put him down."

Busted

Caught my wife having sex with my best friend.
She can pack her bags and get out and he's going back to the dog shelter.