Great Dane

A man goes to a bar and he ties his Great Dane up outside. About 10 minutes later a lady comes in and asks who's Great Dane is outside. "Mine" says the man. "My dog has just killed him," she says. "What breed is your dog?" he asks. "A Chihuahua," she says. "How can a Chihuahua kill a Great Dane?" "He got caught in his throat!"

Why a Dog Licks His Butt

Q: You know why a dog licks his ass?
A: Because he knows in five minutes he'll be licking your face.

Problem with a dog

Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.
Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.