Best Tree for Dogs

Q: What is a dog's favorite tree?
A: The dogwood.

Dog Rules

The dog is not allowed in the house.
Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
The dog is allowed in all rooms but has to stay off the furniture.
The dog can get on the old furniture only.
Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only
The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

Looks Good On A Lawyer

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.