A Second Opinion

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and puts his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too." The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650."
"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man....
"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."

New Born Puppies

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. President Obama was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service agents. Obama asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box. The little boy said, "Democrats." The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, "Atta boy!" A few weeks later Obama was jogging again, this time with Biden in tow. Obama stopped at the boy's house, winked at Joe and said, "Hey kid, what kind of puppies are in the box?" The boy said, "Republicans" Obama looked crushed, saying, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Democrats!" The boy said, "Well, the puppies opened their eyes."

Flash Dog

Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
A: It barked with de-light!