Cow Priced Like A Car

What would happen if we priced our "cows" using the same criteria the auto industry uses to price a "car"? A farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows:

• Basic cow...$499.99
• Shipping and handling...35.75
• Extra Stomach...79.25
• Two Tone Exterior...142.10
• Produce Storage Compartment...126.50
• Heavy Duty Straw Chomper...189.60
• Four Spigot/High Output Drain System...149.20
• Automatic Fly Swatter...88.50
• Genuine Cowhide Upholstery...179.90
• Deluxe Dual Horns...59.25
• Automatic Fertilizer Attachment...339.40
• 4X4 Traction Drive Assembly...884.16
• Pre-delivery Wash and Comb...69.80

FARMER'S SUGGESTED LIST PRICE:...$2,843.30
Additional Dealer Adjustments: ...300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE (Including Options).........$3,143.36

Cow In A Earthquake

Q. What do you get when a cow gets stuck in an earthquake?
A. A milk shake!

Brain Cells

Q: Why did God give women more brain cells than cows?
A: So that women don't shit themselves when you play with their tits.