Cat ate the Duck

Q: What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
A: A duck-filled fatty puss!

Cat's Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep, I pray for toys that look like mice and warm cushions soft and nice.  For grocery bags where I can hide, just like a tiger crouched inside. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks and someone nice to scratch my back. For window sills all warm and bright for shadows to explore by night. I pray I'll always stay real cool and keep the secret feline rule. To never tell a human that, the world is really run by cats.

Tactical Response

As the burglar entered our darkened room, I put the red dot right between his eyes and then…
…let my cat do the rest.