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Animal Jokes - Cat Jokes
Cat's Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep, I pray for toys that look like mice and warm cushions soft and nice. For grocery bags where I can hide, just like a tiger crouched inside. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks and someone nice to scratch my back. For window sills all warm and bright for shadows to explore by night. I pray I'll always stay real cool and keep the secret feline rule. To never tell a human that, the world is really run by cats.
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Tactical Response
As the burglar entered our darkened room, I put the red dot right between his eyes and then…
…let my cat do the rest.
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Cat and Chicken to Heaven
A cat and a chicken die but end up in the wrong heavens. The cat is in chicken heaven and the chicken is in cat heaven. There is a river between the two heavens and they both must cross it to get to their rightful place. The chicken flies over to his heaven without a hitch, but when the cat tries to cross over, he falls in and gets totally wet.
Q: What's the moral of the story?
A: When there's a happy cock, there's a wet pussy.
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