Gay Squirrel And Monkey

Q: Why shouldn't you have a gay monkey and a gay squirrel in the same tree?
A: Because the monkey will go bananas over the squirrel's nuts.

Tarzan's New Parts

Tarzan is attacked by a lion in the jungle. The animal rips off Tarzan's arm, eye and penis. His jungle friends help him by giving him the spare parts he needs -- the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a d**k. Later, Cheeta the Chimp asks Tarzan how his new parts are working out for him. "Tarzan like. With new eye, can see far. With new arm, Tarzan strong. But no like new wee-wee." "Why's that?" "It keep picking grass and shoving in Tarzan's ass."

Dropped Your Wallet

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."