New Presidential Parrot

One day while at the White House, the maid was cleaning the Oval Office's bird cage -- but, while she was doing it, the parrot flew out the window. The maid was scared that President Clinton would find out and she would be fired. So she went to the pet store and asked the clerk if they had any parrots similar to the one she had lost. The clerk said yes, they had one that looked just like it, but the bird had been in a whorehouse for three years. The maid figured it was better than nothing and bought it. When she took it back to the White House she put the parrot back in the cage like nothing happened. Later that day, Hillary came in and the parrot said "Too old, too old" -- the First Lady was a bit peeved, but thought nothing of it. A little bit after that Chelsea came in and the parrot said, "Too young, too young." A couple hours later, President Clinton came into the room and the bird chirped enthusiastically, "Hi Bill! Hi Bill!"

Fish High

Q: How do fish get high?
A: Seaweed.

Bull Free in Tokoyo

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Tokyo, Japan: A bull bound for slaughter gave its handlers the slip Wednesday and escaped into Tokyo's teeming streets. The 1,300-pound bull, shipped in from southern Japan, thundered down the gangplank as soon as it was lowered, bolted past port police and headed for the wide open spaces. More than 20 policeman chased the animal for 40 minutes through nearly three miles of city traffic before managing to herd it into the parking lot of a posh hotel. Waiting patrol cars formed a makeshift corral to avert another escape. Police then roped the bull's horns and tied it to a tree until the owner came to transport it.