A Collar Is Necessary

A little old lady buys a pair of parrots, but cannot identify their sexes. She calls the shop, and the man there advises her to watch them carefully and all would become clear in time. She spends weeks staring at the cage and eventually catches them doing what comes naturally. To make sure she doesn't get them mixed up again, she cuts out a ring from a piece of cardboard and puts it round the male parrot's neck. A while later, the local priest visits the old lady. The male parrot takes one look at the father's collar, wolf whistles, and says, "I see she caught you at it, too."

Sneaky Cow

Q: How does a cow sneak off a farm?
A: Right pasteurize

Meaner Than a Pitbull

Q:  What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.