Alcohol Jokes

God Created Alcohol

Q: Why did God create alcohol?
A: So ugly people could have sex, too.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: juliettaylor

Shaky Hand

Patient: Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me! I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Doc: Do you drink a lot?
Patient: Not really - I spill most of it!

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

The Plan

"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose." "Oh no you're not," said the girl. "Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks." "Oh no you're not." "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks." "Oh no you're not." "Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you." "Oh no you're not." "And I'm not going to wear a condom either!" said the guy ."Oh yes you are!" said the girl.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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