Alcohol Jokes - Beer Jokes

Who Keeps Saying Those Things?

A man walked into a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've got great hair!" The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice was coming from, so he went back to his beer.
A minute later, he heard the same soft voice say, "You're a handsome man!" The man looked around, but still couldn't see where the voice was coming from.
When he went back to his beer, the voice said again, "What a stud you are!" The man was so baffled by this that he asked the bartender what was going on. The bartender said, "Oh, it's the nuts -- they're complimentary."

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bus Driver

I went out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before. 

Categories: Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes)
Written By: Blaze

DNR

A husband and wife were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Submitted BY: kaiofthelexx1
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