Redneck Bottle Opener

You might be a redneck if you've ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.

If Men Ruled The World - Drinking

• Instead of a beer belly, you'd get beer biceps.
• On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
• St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated monthly.
• Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."

Men Planning for the Future

Q: How does a man plan for the future?
A: He buys TWO cases of beer.