Not All True

Two men were sitting side by side on an airliner flying from Denver to Los Angeles. The first man appeared nervous and finally explained that he was being transferred to LA. "I hate Los Angeles," he said. "Everything you hear about LA is bad -- smog, traffic, and worst of all, the crime. Gangs everywhere, people getting shot and robbed, things stolen, car jackings, and everyone hates everyone else." "Oh, it's not that bad," said the second man. "I live in LA myself. Most of that stuff you read is media hype. It's just not true. You'll find LA is just like any other city, anywhere in America." "Really?" responded the first. "Boy, that makes me feel a lot better. You say you live in LA -- what do you do for a living?" "I'm a tail gunner on a Bud Light delivery truck."

Women Drinking Beer on the Beach

Q: Why don't women like to drink beer on the beach?
A: They don't like getting sand in their Busch.

Too Many Beers

So I said "Hey man, that's my beer." Then he says, "No man, that's my beer." Then the beers say, "No man, we're our own beers." That's when we realized we had too many beers.