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Alcohol Jokes
Men Planning for the Future
Q: How does a man plan for the future?
A: He buys TWO cases of beer.
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Insulting at Christmas
How to be Insulting at Christmas: Refuse to give any guests a drink, on the grounds that it's for their own good not to drink and drive. Have plenty of soft drinks to offer them though. Then pour yourself a large Scotch, on the grounds that you aren't going anywhere and don't have to worry.
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Insect Falls Into a Beer
An insect falls into a mug of beer.
English Man: Throws his mug of beer on the floor and walks out.
American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks the beer.
Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws away the beer.
Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer.
Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.
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