Tough Judge

The judge handed the accused a piece of paper and asked him to read what was written on it, You should have seen the trouble he had saying "The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick"
He's always handing out tough sentences.

Quick Reader

Started reading the dictionary last week. Today my friend asked how far I'd gotten, "Halfway" I said. "Wow!" he exclaimed with disbelief "You're at 'm' already?"
Fucking idiot, "Halfway" starts with an "H"

Can You Hear Me Now

Q: What do you give to a fisherman who is going deaf?
A: A herring aid.