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Profession Jokes - Teacher Jokes
Kids Speak Like Grownups
It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year. To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride." "No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride." The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride." "No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride." The third child says, full of pride, "I read a book." "Which one?" asks the teacher. "Winnie-the-Shit!"
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Kidneys for Brains
The teacher asked her students if anyone knew the answer to 2+2, they had three tries or they would not get recess. The first kid said "Uh, 14?". "No," the teacher said. The second kid said "3.8"? "Not quite", the teacher said. Finally the third kid said "That's easy, 4". "Yes, you all get recess now". On the playground, the kids asked how he knew the answer and he said, "It's all about the Kidneys!" as he pointed to his head.
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Governor's Halloween Party
One Halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were. When one couple arrived he announced "Mickey and Minnie Mouse". As the next couple arrived he announced "Tarzan and Jane" and so on as each guest arrived. Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe. "Who do you think you are?" demanded the doorman. Having ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local university CS department the doorman asked "How shall I announce you?" The man said, "I'm premature ejaculation" "I'm very sorry sir", said the doorman in obvious shock, "I cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering." "O.K." said the professor. "Just say I came in my pants"
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