George On The River

Q: When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat?
A: He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row!

Clinton Stew

Q: What are the ingredients for the new, improved Bill Clinton stew?
A: One wiener, one tongue, one cooked goose, lots of spilled beans and hot water.

Half of the Senate

A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member acquiesced. "OK," he said, "I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!"