Congressional Holdup

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and yelled, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said, "You can't do this to me, I'm a United States Congressman!" The thief replied, "In that case, give me MY money!"

Politician and Screwdriver

Q: What's the difference between a politician and a screwdriver?
A: A screwdriver turns in screws, while politicians screw interns.

Politicians and Diapers

Q: Why are politicians like diapers?
A: Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.