Light Bulb - Marketing Director

Q: How many marketing directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?

At The Counter

A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!" The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!" Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts!"

Amish Mechanic

Q: What would you call an Amish guy with his arm up a horse's ass?
A: A Mechanic.