Bus Driver's Parents

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull." The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant." The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!" The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"

Gynecologist and Genealogist

Q: What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
A: A genealogist looks up the family tree. A gynecologist looks up the family bush.

Tough job

A fellow getting a shave asked the barber if he had another razor. "Why?" asked the barber, "Is there something wrong with this one?"
"I don't know." replied the customer. "But I would appreciate a chance to defend myself."