Eye Doctor, Heart Surgeon, HMO to Heaven

An eye doctor, a heart surgeon and an HMO executive die and are in heaven. God asks the eye doctor why he should be let into heaven, and the doctor explains to God that he helped people save or regain their sight. God says, ''Welcome to heaven, my son.'' God then asks the heart surgeon what he had done in life that should allow him into heaven. ''I saved people from death from heart attacks and heart disease,'' the doctor replies. ''Welcome to heaven, my son,'' God says. God then turns to the HMO executive. God asked him what he was, and the man replied that he worked for an HMO. ''Welcome to heaven, my son,'' says God, ''but you have to leave in two days.''

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Cure For Unemployment

"So you think you could end all unemployment, do you?" asked the interviewer. "And how, if I may be so bold to inquire?" "Why, I'd put all the men on one island and all the women on another." replied Paddy. "And what would they be doing then?" "Building boats!"