A Water Overdose

A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation "Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water."
"Ok."
"Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water."
"Ok."
"Take the yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water." After giving these instructions to the woman, she asks,
"Can you tell me what's wrong with me Dr.?"
"Yeah. You do not drink enough water."

Vocab 101

Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated." Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation." Fred says, "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a little embarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it?" Doc says, "Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I don't understand it, but OK." He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the bedside when Fred wakes up. "Well, Doc, how'd it go?" Fred asks. "It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my..." "CIRCUMCISED!" yells Fred. "THAT'S the word!!!"

No Pressure

This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me ... your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."