You're Back Again?

The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."

Are You Talking To Me?

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

Court Rules

A young man is in court. He's driving everyone mad with his loud and incessant chewing. The judge looks over and says "For the love of God man would you stop masticating"
To which he replies in a panicked voice "I wasn't, I wasn't, I swear, I just had my hands in my pockets"