Eco Mow

Q: Why do dairy farmers never have to cut the grass?
A: Because they have plenty of 'lawn-mooers.'

That is ONE!

A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had grown tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it just to live in it all alone. So he thought it would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Without haste, he sent for one and on the day she was arriving he hitched up his horse and buggy and headed for the nearest train station.
After meeting his new bride, he loaded all her bags into the wagon and then headed for their honeymoon home. They had traveled only two miles when the horse stumbled.  The rancher got out and whipped the horse to its feet. He looked at the horse and said, "THAT'S ONE", and got back in the wagon.  He then smiled at the woman and continued on their way.
They had traveled only another two miles when the horse stumbled again, and again the rancher got out of the wagon to whip the horse to its feet, telling the horse "THAT'S TWO".  Then He took his seat beside his new bride and continued on their way.
After traveling another two miles the horse stumbled for the third time. The rancher got out of the wagon carrying his rifle, he walked up to the horse and shot it right between the eyes, saying, "THAT'S THREE".  He turned to the wagon only to hear his new bride say, "why in the hell did you do that for, now we have to walk". The rancher turn to the woman and said "THAT'S ONE".

A Farmer's Decision

If a farmer was only able to choose between buying a cow or a tractor, what should he pick. On one hand, he would look funny riding on a cow. On the other hand, he would look funnier trying to milk a tractor.