In the ER

We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?
How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?
Dammit Dr. Pepper not now!

Where Are The Fingers?

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do." Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers." The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 1998. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?" Jon says, "Well, shit, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

Conceited Doctors

Q: What is the difference between a brain surgeon and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a brain surgeon!