Stitches

Q: When tying a knot, what causes suture material to break?
A: The jerk on the end of the line. Every time

Broken Legs

A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself. Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg. The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said, "You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain! So, how did you break YOUR leg??"

You Might Be An E.R. Doctor If...

You Might Be an E.R. Doctor If...

1. Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
2. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
3. You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
4. You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.
5. You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.
6. You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers.
7. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy it is quiet around here."
8. You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".
9. You have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"
10. You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".
11. Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"