Why Engineers Don't Write Recipe Books

Chocolate Chip Cookies:
Ingredients:

1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10) To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1)

Instructions:

• With an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogeneous.
• To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogeneous mixture in reactor #1.
• Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
• Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).
• Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate [removed]see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.
• Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

Equation of Earnings

The Equation:
Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows, Work = Power * Time, Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have: Work = Knowledge * Money. Solving for Money, we get: Work*M Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge decreases, Money increases, regardless of how much Work is done. Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make.
Note: It has been speculated that the reason why Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard's math program was because he stumbled upon this proof as an undergraduate, and dedicated the rest of his career to the pursuit of ignorance.

Two Electricians

Two electricians are working up on a pole. A granny walks by. One of the electricians shouts at the granny, "Hey grandma, can you hold that cable that's on the ground next to you for a bit, please?" The granny picks up the cable. The same electrician then turns to the other electrician and says, "Told you it was the neutral."