Scooby Doobie Boobies!

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your breasts and say, 'Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies.'" She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up right in the middle of the bus and said, "Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies!" A guy sitting nearby asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?" "Why, yes, I do. How did you know?" "Hickory dickory dock"!

Guru And Novocaine

Q: Why did the guru refuse Novocaine when he went to his dentist?
A: He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Tractor Love

So there's this guy who reaaaally loves tractors. He had tractor toys, he read tractor weekly, he has tractor posters on his wall.... the works. He spent all his time consumed with tractors. So naturally, his mother got worried. She convinced him to go to the local bar to try and meet someone.
So he reluctantly goes to the bar and, miraculously, he finds a woman who loves tractors too. (Not as much as him, though because NO-ONE loves tractors as much as this guy). But he meets this girl who loves tractors enough to stimulate him, intellectually.
So fast forward a couple of months and this guy brings his girlfriend to the local field to watch the tractors go by during the sunset. He proposes to her and she says yes. Then they both fall asleep in the field and he has a dream that a tractor was coming to run over him. He wakes and there is a tractor coming towards him! He quickly rolls away but his fiancée gets run over and killed.
He is obviously devastated and swears never to even look at a tractor ever again. So he tears down all his posters and spends all his time in his room, alone and depressed for a few weeks until his mother, again intervenes and gets him to go to the local bar again.
When he arrives, the bar is on fire! He rushes in and takes a deep breath, sucking in all the fire and smoke.
The firemen immediately ask him how he did it.
"I'm an ex-tractor fan."