Lucky Mechanic

Q: How do you know a mechanic just got lucky?
A: One of his fingers is clean.

Three Types of Tea

An American cowboy was traveling in England and decided to stop at a tea shop for a drink. On the menu there were several different teas to choose from. When the waitress came to take his order, the cowboy asked, "Ma'am, what the hell do all these names mean?" The waitress calmly replied, "We have basically three types of tea, sir. The pea-cove tea is 90% substance and 10% aroma, the orange tea is 10% substance and 90% aroma, and the Blackberry tea is an acquired taste." The cowboy responded, "Where I come from, we have three types of tea too, Ma'am. There's s-h-i-T which is 90% substance and 10% aroma, there is f-a-r-T which is 10% substance and 90% aroma, and then there is c-u-n-T which is an acquired taste."

Guessing Game

A blonde dyed her hair brown because she was tired of being picked on. She was driving along the countryside when she got a bright idea and stopped at a nearby farm. She said to the farmer, "If I can tell you how many sheep you have in total can I have one?" "Okay," said the farmer. So she quickly counted them and said, "91." The farmer looked around astonished and said, "Alright take one." As she was walking back to her car the farmer said, "If I can guess your natural hair color can I have my dog back?"