Unreasonable Bill

A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item: "Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn't you. -$50.00."

Girl at Dermatologist

Dermatologist: "Good News my dear, after looking through your test results I'm happy to report you will no longer be plagued by pimples." Girl: "Wow! That's great! Why?" Dermatologist: "There's no more space."

Young

At an interview I was told I was too immature to be a bank manager. How rude. And they didn't even speak to either of my sock puppets.