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Profession Jokes
Final Curtain
At his annual checkup, a man is told that he has contracted a deadly disease and has only twelve hours to live. His only consolation is that it’s not contagious. When he gets home, he tells his wife the awful news. She is devastated and says, “Honey, let’s make love tonight. It will be the night of your life.” They make love with a passion, and it’s amazing, and they kiss and go to sleep. A little while later he wakes her up and says, “How about we do it again?” They make love again, and it’s even better and more bittersweet. They are exhausted. Sensing the end approaching, the husband asks, “Hey, how about just one more time?” “That’s easy for you to say,” the wife says. “You don’t have to get up in the morning.”
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Teacher
It was the first day of school. Harry's mother went into his bedroom and said, "Come on Harry, get up now. You have to go to school today."
"But I don't want to go to school," replied Harry, "I want to stay in bed. Why do I have to go to school"?
"Because," answered his mother, "you're a teacher!"
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Quite the Good Guess
The teacher noticed that Al had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. " Al," she said, "If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I? " Thirty-four," Al answered unhesitatingly. The teacher replied, "Well, that's not far from my actual age. Tell me... how did you guess?" "Oh, there's nothing to it," Al said. "My big sister is seventeen and she's only half-crazy."
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