Arrested For Drunk Driving

There was the surgeon who was arrested for drunk driving. They let him go, even though he was already an hour late for an operation.

A Tick

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a tick?
A: A tick drops off you when you die.

Swallowed a Mouse

A man swallowed a mouse while sleeping on the couch one day. His wife quickly called the doctor and said, "Doctor, please come quickly. My husband just swallowed a mouse and he's gagging and thrashing about."
"I'll be right over," the doctor said. "In the meantime, keep waving a piece of cheese over his mouth to try to attract the mouse up and out of there."
When the doctor arrived, he saw the wife waving a piece of smoked herring over her husband's mouth.
"Uhh, I told you to use cheese, not herring, to lure the mouse."
"I know, doc," she replied, "but first I've got to get the darn cat out of him!"