Pulled Over, Too Drunk

A cop pulls over a car that's been swerving across the lanes of a road. "Get out of the car, please." "But I'm not drunk, officer!" "Listen, it doesn't matter if you're drunk or not. If you don't get out of this car, I'll arrest you anyway." "Fine," says the man and gets out of the car. "Okay, now walk this white line." The man looks at the line. "Which one of them do I walk on?"

What's Up Doc

Patient: "Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking I'm getting smaller!"
Doctor: "Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."

I'm a Moth

A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..." The guys replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist." The dentist says, "Well then what are you doing here?" And the guy says, "Your light was on."