The De-Ranged Cowboy

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys, back on the ranch, about his first visit to a big-city church ."When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,"  Joe began. "You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. "I walked up the trail to the gate," Joe continued. "The sidewalk to the door,"  Charlie corrected him. "Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on ."That would be the usher," Charlie explained. "Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said. "You mean the aisle," Charlie said. "Then he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,"  Joe continued ."Pew," Charlie retorted ."Yeah," recalled Joe. "That's what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her."

Terrified Postman

Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?
A: A terrified postman!

A Water Overdose

A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation "Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water."
"Ok."
"Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water."
"Ok."
"Take the yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water." After giving these instructions to the woman, she asks,
"Can you tell me what's wrong with me Dr.?"
"Yeah. You do not drink enough water."