Admin Harris

The admin, Ms. Harris,  came in late for work the third day in a row.  The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look, Ms. Harris, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here."  The boss pressed on, " Who told you you could come and go as you please around here?" Ms. Harris simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, "My lawyer."

Doctor Visit

I went to the doctor...
I went to see the doctor the other day. Turns out my new doctor is a drop-dead gorgeous brunette.

I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional - I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.”

I said, “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.”

Definition of Windows

|Webster's Dictionary definition of Windows :  32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.