The Embarrassed Archaeologist

Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.

Are You Talking To Me?

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

Greek tailor.

An Ancient Greek man walks into a tailor and holds up a torn tunic.
TAYLOR: "Euripides?" (You-rip-e-dees)
MAN: "Eumenedes??" (You-men-e-dees)(Say it quickly, it works!)