Grounds for Divorce

A woman goes into her lawyers office requesting a divorce. He is taking all of her background information and asks her, "Do you have grounds for a divorce?" To which she replies, "Well, we have three acres." "No, ma'am. What I mean is, does he beat you up?" asks the attorney. "No, I get up around 6:30 and he sleeps until 7:00," she responds. Feeling a little frustrated the attorney asks, "Lady, tell me, do you have a grudge?" Looking very confident she states, "No, we have a carport." At this point the lawyer has lost his patience and asks, "Look, Lady. Why the heck do you want a divorce?" "Because he can't hold an intelligent conversation!"

You're Back Again?

The Judge said to the defendant. "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."

The Medical Convention

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doc interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back, they go for it. After the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands. As she comes back the male doc says, "I bet you are a surgeon." She confirms, and asks how he knew. "Easy, he said, you're always washing your hands." "That's very clever!" she says, "I bet you're an anesthesiologist." "Wow, how did you guess?" he asked. "I didn't feel a thing!" she replied.