Constitipation - Composer

Did you hear about the constipated composer? He got stuck on his last movement.

Subtract Ten

There once was a doctor who was so conceited about his looks and charm that whenever he took a woman's pulse, he subtracted 10 beats to account for her being excited near him.

Lesser Of Two

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina, one went to Hollywood and became a famous actor while the other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the "lesser of two weevils."