Partnership

Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist.

They put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.

The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

The docs changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.

This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign to read: Catatonics and High Colonics.

This was also a no-go.

Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives.

Thumbs down again. Then came Minds and Behinds - still no good.

Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes - unacceptable again!

So they tried Nuts and Butts - no way.

Freaks and Cheeks - still no good.

Loons and Moons - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends.

 
Everybody loved it...

Business One Liners

• If you are asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.
• If you are coasting, you're going downhill.
• If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
• If you are given two contradictory orders, obey them both.
• If you are not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
• If you are running for a short line, it suddenly becomes a long line.
• If you are worried about being crazy, don't be overly concerned. If you were, you would think you were sane.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone to blame.
• If you cannot convince them, confuse them. 
• If you cannot dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with lies.

Lawyers vs Computers

Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.