Business One Liners

• If you are asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.
• If you are coasting, you're going downhill.
• If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
• If you are given two contradictory orders, obey them both.
• If you are not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
• If you are running for a short line, it suddenly becomes a long line.
• If you are worried about being crazy, don't be overly concerned. If you were, you would think you were sane.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone to blame.
• If you cannot convince them, confuse them. 
• If you cannot dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with lies.

Lawyers vs Computers

Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.

Barber Arrested

The local barber got arrested for selling cocaine. This really surprised me as I've been a customer for years and never knew he was a barber.