Life Is Precious

The doctor tells the patient he's got only six months to live but the patient doesn't pay his bill on time, so the doctor gives him another six months.

Psychiatrists and Patients

Q: How do you tell the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at the mental hospital?
A: The patients are the ones that eventually get better and go home!

The Known Accountant

A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: "Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg".  The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.  The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, but as an accountant...Oy! He was something."