Lover ID

How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher, a nurse or a flight attendant?
A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.
A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.
And a flight attendant says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.

Vocabulary

I recently called an old Engineering buddy of mine and asked what he was working on these days.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed until, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

The Painter

Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"