The Blonde Flight Attendant

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.  The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.  He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.  She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.  "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"  The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

At the Crazy Farm

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds, and he entered a patient's room to find his patient sitting on the floor, sawing at a piece of wood with the side of his hand. Meanwhile, another patient was in the room, hanging from the ceiling by his feet. The doctor asked his patient what he was doing, sitting on the floor. The patient replied in an irritated fashion, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired, "And what is the fellow hanging from the ceiling doing?" "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor asks, "If he's your friend, don't you think you should get him down from there before he hurts himself?" "What? And work in the dark!?!"

The Perfect Diagnosis

The doctor had just completed his examination of the gorgeous redhead. "I would suggest to you, young lady, began the doctor,  that you discontinue some of your running around, stop drinking so much, cut down on your smoking, and above all you will have to start eating properly and getting to bed early." Then, as a pleasant afterthought, he added: "Why not have dinner with me tonight? I'll see to it that you have the proper food and that you'll be in bed by 9:00!"