Profession Jokes

Plant Your Potatoes

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply,
"For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"
At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Criminal Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Mortuary Answering Machine

Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen. You stab 'em and we slab 'em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Corpse Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Profession Jokes , Telephone Jokes (Answering Machine Jokes)
Anonymous

Too Much Noise

A teacher asked a pupil a question, but she could barely hear the child speaking since the other kids were making too much noise. In an attempt to quiet them, she said, ''I can hear voices!''
Two janitors outside heard the teacher and one said to the other, ''Jeez, she better stop telling the kids about her mental problems!''

Categories: Profession Jokes (Teacher Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Mental Health Jokes)
Anonymous
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