Profession Jokes

Mortuary Answering Machine

Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen. You stab 'em and we slab 'em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays. We are currently unable to come to the phone, but if you leave your number and address at the tone, we'll be by to pick up the corpse as soon as possible.

Anonymous

Too Much Noise

A teacher asked a pupil a question, but she could barely hear the child speaking since the other kids were making too much noise. In an attempt to quiet them, she said, ''I can hear voices!''
Two janitors outside heard the teacher and one said to the other, ''Jeez, she better stop telling the kids about her mental problems!''

Anonymous

Looks Good On A Lawyer

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.

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