Word Play Jokes - Private Parts

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My Car Is Shtolen!

An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you lad?" "Yesh, Shombody shtole me car!", the Irishman replies. The cop asks, "Well now, where was your car last time you saw it?" "It was at the end of this key." About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's member is being exhibited for all to see. He then asks, "Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The Irishman looks down woefully and moans "OOH GOD... they got me girl too!"

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Sugar and Cream?

A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner. The man, who uses both creamer and sugar in his coffee, notices that the container is empty. As the waitress rushes by, he asks her to bring him cream and sugar for his coffee. The waitress, busier than she can ever remember being before, rushes to the back to pick up more orders. As she passes the cabinet where the extra sugar and cream are kept, she sets a plate down and puts sugar cubes and creamer packets in her bosom because both her hands are full. After she has served the two plates she was holding, she returns to the man and asks him, "How many sugar cubes did you want in your coffee?" The man says, "Two's fine." She reaches into her bra, pulls out two sugar cubes and drops them into his cup. "And cream?" she asks. The man looks at her, squarely in the eye and says, "You wouldn't dare!"

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Food Jokes , Sexist Jokes (About Women)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

All I Want

When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts. In high school, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability. I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition. After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned. Now all I want is a girl with large breasts!

Categories: Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Sexist Jokes (About Women)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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