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Word Play Jokes - Private Parts
Long John
Aren't ya wonderin' why they call me Long John? Yar!
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Five Inch Drop
A fly flies back and forth over a river repeatedly, dropping five inches each time. A fish sees it and decides it will jump and catch it when it drops. A bear sees the fish and decides it will get the fish when it jumps. A hunter with a cheese sandwich in his pocket sees the bear and waits for it to go for the fish to shoot it. A mouse sees the cheese sandwich and decides to wait for the hunter to shoot so that the sandwich will fall and he can get it. A cat sees the mouse and decides to wait for it to go for the sandwich to jump and catch it. So, the fly drops, the fish jumps, the bear goes for it, the hunter shoots, the sandwich falls, the mouse goes for it, and the cat jumps, but he misses and goes into the water.
The moral of the story: when the fly drops five inches, the pussy gets wet.
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Cigarette Warnings
Recent Canadian government research has shown that cigarette smoking not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage of the male sexual "equipment."
Wow! If that is true, we need to get the word out ASAP! Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect this new information. How about something like this:
* Warning: These cigarettes are king size -- how about you?
* Warning: Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things getting smaller.
* Warning: If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you. *
*Warning: Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon.
* Warning: Smoke rises, but you may not.
* Warning: Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children -- That is.. if you're capable of conceiving any.
* Warning: Cigarettes get shorter the more you puff -- so do you.
* Warning: How can you enjoy a smoke afterwards, if there's no before? *
*Warning: The only thing left after a smoke is a dead stub.
* Warning: Don't throw lit cigarettes in the urinal -- you might not have the range to put them out.
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