Winter Dresses

Q: Why don't women wear dresses in the winter?
A: Chapped lips.

Marriage Quotes

• My other wife is beautiful.
• My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
• My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.
• My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
• My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
• My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.
• Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
• No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
• Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin!
• I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Medical Terms - Ebonics Style!

Medical Terminology - Ebonics Style:
Benign - What you be after you be eight.
Artery - The study of paintings.
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria.
Barium - What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan - Searching for kitty.
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.
Colic - A sheep dog.
Coma - A punctuation mark.
D & C - Where Washington is.
Dilate - To live long.
Enema - Not a friend.
Fester - Quicker than someone else.
Fibula - A small lie.
Genital - Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series - World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail - What you hang your coat on.
Impotent - Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane.
Morbid - A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates.
Node - Was aware of
Outpatient - A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test.
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative - A letter carrier.
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery.
Rectum - Darn near killed him.
Secretion - Hiding something.
Seizure - Roman emperor.
Tablet - A small table.
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the Bus Station
Tumor - More than one.
Urine - Opposite of you're out.
Varicose - Near by/close by.
Vein - Conceited.