Rubber Broke

Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, "Oh my god! , it was really great, but I was soo scared after his rubber broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week." "What happened?!" Says her intrigued friend. "I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was finally able to get the last little piece of it out with dental floss."

The Aged Patient's Lowered Sex Drive

The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."

Calvinist Lightbulbs

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be the one that has been chosen to be changed.